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The Book of Ffoeg

Jul. 18th, 2012

11:34 am

4-yo daughter: Daddy, are mad scientists good guys or bad guys?
Me: What do you think?
Daughter: I think they are good guys. And they are mad because they are mad at the bad guys.
Me: That's exactly right.

Mar. 16th, 2011

12:38 pm - Mad Scientist Update

Me (entering room): Good morning! How did you sleep?
3-yo daughter: Not good.
Me: Why not?
Daughter: I was awake all night, trying to be invisible. And a dinosaur.

Feb. 21st, 2011

12:57 pm - Mad Scientist in training

3-yo daughter: I have a hop-this.
Me: What?
Daughter: I have a hop-this! I am going to test it.
Me: Oh, you have a hypothesis!. What's your hypothesis?
Daughter: Some sharks are nice. Some sharks are not nice.
Me: How will you test your hypothesis?
Daughter: (Thinks.) I will use my whole family.

Feb. 14th, 2011

12:15 pm


3-yo Daughter: Is today a school day?
Mother: If I said it was a school day, what would you say?
Daughter: Hooray school!
Mother: And if I said it was a home day, what would you say?
Daughter: I want to go to school!
Mother: Well, it's a home day.
Daughter: I want to go to school!


Daughter: Is today a school day?
Me: If I say yes, what will you say?
Daughter: Hooray school!
Me: Well, it is a school day!
Daughter (bursts into tears): I HATE SCHOOL!!!

Jan. 4th, 2011

12:56 pm - Welcome

Welcome to LJ, susantimberlake!

Nov. 3rd, 2010

09:57 am

"It is not incumbent upon you to complete the work, but neither are you at liberty to desist from it" (Avot 2:21)

Sep. 30th, 2010

04:14 pm - This Sentence Has Five Words

Beautiful writing advice.


Sep. 15th, 2010

12:31 pm - Cover of my book

if I ever write one and sell it.


Updated: here's the explanatory text:


Jul. 23rd, 2010

10:12 am - Fenario

I must have heard the Grateful Dead song "Dire Wolf" a thousand times. How did I miss that the first line indicates that it takes place in Fenario? I am well and truly staggered.

1. So it probably stems from an older folk song, the Bonnie Lass of Fenario.
2. I assume Brust took the name from this, not directly from an older source.

Jun. 23rd, 2010

10:26 pm

Using "Online Customer Support Chat" with my bank tonight.

Natalie: Hi, I'm Natalie with Customer Service. What can I help you with?
Me: When I try to log in, I get an error even before I get a chance to enter my passcode.
Natalie: I'm sorry that you're having trouble with online ID/passcode.
Natalie: I can help you with that problem.
Natalie: First, I need to ask you some questions to verify your account.
Natalie: What was the amount and location of your last posted ATM transaction?
[Note: the last four lines appeared within 1/2 second of my text.]
Me: Are you a robot?
[Long pause]
Natalie: No, I'm a real person.
Me: You type very quickly for a person.
Me: But that's okay, I like robots.
[I try and fail to remember my last ATM transaction.]
Natalie: Okay, let me ask a different question. What's the credit limit on your credit card?
[I had actually forgotten I had a credit card with this bank. Needless to say, I have no idea what the credit limit is.]
Me: Can't you ask me a question that I know the answer to, like whether I'm a robot? I may lie and say no, like you.
[More questions are proffered until I get one right, and we resolve the problem.]
Natalie: Is there anything else I can help you with?
Me: No, that's it. Thanks. Go robots!
Natalie: I'm a real person.

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