The Book of Ffoeg

Bring Goggles!

2009-11-24T14:48:27Z

An astonishing new contrivance!

http://www.aetherltd.com/

Conversation at work

2009-11-20T14:52:54Z

D: We'll need a shoehorn to get another server in that room.
S: A shoehorn? The kind with teeth?
D: Uh, what? I've never heard of that.
Me: Well, you know there's no such thing.

Check out my new icon

2009-10-29T01:17:06Z

Heh. It's Gharad the Undying!

Top Ten Bad Ideas for NaNoWriMo

2009-10-26T15:14:05Z

Ajax Kleene, Consulting Sanitizer
Writer's Block: A Horror Story
The Time I Became a Space Marine and Totally Killed All the Aliens and Had Awesome Sex with the Hottest Chick (working title: Old Man's War)
Zorro vs. Ray Ozzie
A Series of Uninteresting Events
The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe Malfunction
Blamerica: The Fantastic Alternate America That Elected a Black Man President (Note: too unbelievable)
Six Hundred Days Trapped Underground
House, M.D. slash
The DaVinci Code

Ultimate Spoiler for LOST

2009-08-14T13:31:04Z

They are all dead.

Disclaimer: I haven't watched any of the last three seasons.

ffoeg @ 2009-08-11T11:22:00

2009-08-11T15:23:29Z

stealthmuffin rocks out.

ffoeg @ 2009-08-10T12:25:00

2009-08-10T16:25:46Z

Especially for orbitalmechanic:

When We Were Robots in Egypt

Bands I've Seen Live

2009-08-06T14:32:49Z

I don't think I've actually seen 50. Is that sad? Only listing ones that count. Sorry, Thirteenth Floor. There's probably also dozens of bands I've seen at music festivals that I just don't remember.

1. The Nields *
2. Buckwheat Zydeco
3. Eddie from Ohio
4. Warren Zevon
5. They Might Be Giants *
6. Christine Lavin
7. DaVinci's Notebook
8. Barenaked Ladies
9. Shawn Colvin *
10. Hot Tuna
11. Three Mustafas Three
12. Wilco
13. Squirrel Nut Zippers *
14. Social Distortion
15. James Taylor
16. Billy Joel
17. Crosby, Stills, and Nash
18. Millan & Kenzie *
19. Martin Sexton * (I actually saw him busking Harvard Square)
20. Justin Roberts *
21. Poi Dog Pondering
22. Libby Cotton
23. The Bobs *
24. GWAR

* - multiple times

I was at the HFStival in 1993, which according to Wikipedia had INXS, Iggy Pop, Ned's Atomic Dustbin, Stereo MCs, Belly, Matthew Sweet, The Posies, X, and Velocity Girl. I remember absolutely nothing of that except that it was unbelievably hot. There must be more I'm forgetting, though.

My Letter to NY State Sen. Valesky

2009-07-23T20:54:17Z

Dear Sen. Valesky,

I'm certain you are receiving advice -- or demands -- for your vote on gay marriage from many corners. Please allow me to share my thoughts.

More than twenty years ago, when I was growing up in Manlius, I was fortunate enough to have your father as my high school social studies teacher. I learned from him about the long and difficult struggle towards enlightenment and equality throughout the history of Western civilization. It is a struggle which continues, of course, to this day.

I live with my wife in Massachusetts, now, but my parents still live in your district, and I was extremely pleased to hear from them that Joe Valesky's son had been elected to the State Senate. What an opportunity! Here in Massachusetts, I've seen the incredible joy and happiness in my community and neighbors as marriage equality has been extended to all of our citizens. My straight marriage isn't threatened at all by it -- indeed, I feel that our union is strengthened knowing that our government has acknowledged the rights of everyone to be as happy and fulfilled as we've been lucky to be.

I understand the incredible pressure you must be under, and I've read your thoughtful statements in favor of civil unions. But I hope that you consider your vote in the context of the grand scope of history that your father was so adept at presenting to his students. To think that you could be the vote that moves us all another step toward equality! What an exciting, joyous time we live in, to see these changes come about at last.

I know full well that many people find marriage equality frightening or even immoral. But of course the rights of citizens ought not to depend on the fears of others, or even of their authentic and heartfelt religious beliefs. The full measure of rights, of the pursuit of happiness, belongs to all of us, and I believe that you are truly blessed with this opportunity to reaffirm this principle for the citizens of New York State.

Thank you for your time and kind attention.

ffoeg @ 2009-07-15T20:04:00

2009-07-16T01:24:41Z

Lovely dinner at Asmara, only slightly marred by the traces of tear gas left over from, I assume, an earlier riot. Saw yhlee and Joe for the first time in too long, and met buymeaclue, rushthatspeaks, ckd, and shati. This provoked the somewhat odd experience of meeting people in, well, person for the first time whom I've seen on LJ for years. (I know I'm hardly the first person to experience it, it was just a lot of it at once.)

According to journalist-turned-crackpot writer Graham Hancock, Asmara is (I think) the current resting spot of the Ark of the Covenant. I theorized that tear gas might be one of the protections on the Ark described in the Bible - something about lightning bolts that hit people's eyes? That's about what it was like in there.

Caffeine Cold Turkey, Day 1

2009-07-09T20:09:49Z

I could really use some coffee.

Alchemyst's Clocktower

2009-02-28T15:37:57Z

Damn, I wish I could write a story as cool as this.

http://www.dugnorth.com/blog/2009/02/alchemysts-clocktower-automaton-by.html

My dream

2009-02-23T20:34:41Z

So I got a job at the Obama White House, and was very excited. But it turned out that I was in charge of the kitchen doing meal planning. I couldn't remember if Obama had told me he wanted Beef Wellington or Beef Washington (in my dream this was a real meal). When I went to the Oval Office to ask him which he had asked for, he icily said, "I already *told* you."

Then I was leading a tour group through the White House. We found an internal window that looked out live on a scene from the Depression, women working in a textile factory. Somehow we crawled through the window and ended up in the past. We had a fascinating discussion with these women.

When we returned to the present, McCain was president. Oh no! So we went back to the Depression to try to reverse the change we made. When we came back again, I made a panicked call to my wife. "I know this is a strange question..." I started. "Is it about the war that started when we were attacked on September 17, 2001?" she asked. Not a good sign, but that's only six days difference.

"No, who's president?"

"Martin... Preston? No one really pays attention to who's president now, though, with all the wars between the parts of the former United States." Uh oh!

Geek links

2009-02-04T19:10:26Z

Catching a glimpse of the other world (Google Street View link)

"How am I supposed to effectively lead this nation when [attorney general nominee Eric] Holder has to stop the meeting and ask what the story of Taurus using the black lotus powder to kill the five guard lions has to do with increasing broadband Internet connections nationwide?" Obama said while vigorously rubbing his temples.

Added the president, "For the love of Crom, am I the only one here who wants to keep the U.S. technologically competitive?"

How to Start a Book

2009-02-02T19:29:00Z

I've always had trouble starting stories in compelling ways.

So my son, who's five now, told me he wanted to make a "space book," which apparantly meant drawing a lot of pictures of rockets and planets and then having me staple them together.

The first page showed a man running (well, actually stick figure standing still with RUN written over him) and a rocket in the background. "What's happening in this picture?" I asked.

"That man is running to the spaceship before it blasts off." Pause. "Or explodes."

Damn, that kid has a future.

Best Marketing Department

2008-11-24T15:03:15Z

You know that Apple has a kick-ass marketing department when you have a dream that consists entirely of you a) watching an ad for a new Apple product then b) talking with a friend about how cool the ad and the product were.

Anyway, the iHuman(tm) Avatar(tm) looks pretty awesome. But what was the deal with all the foreign coins flying into the pot? That might have been a refugee image from reading Glen Cook's A Cruel Wind before bed, actually.

Christianity I can respect

2008-09-18T01:59:53Z

http://www.margaretcho.com/blog/2008/09/17/im-a-christian-you-fuckers.html

Warning: lots and lots and lots of profanity. Also very funny.

Ways to torture a writer

2008-09-12T17:15:40Z

Dear Author,

Thanks for your submission. We're still considering it, but we didn't understand X. Could you explain it?

Editors

--

Dear Editor,

Sure, I'd be happy to explain X. You see, Y.

Author

--

Dear Author,

Thanks for that explanation. That really cleared things up. We'll let you know.

Editors

--

Starhawk's advice to the candidates

2008-08-28T14:28:03Z

Since there's a widespread internet lie that Obama is really a Muslim, perhaps we should counter with the rumor that McCain was seen dancing naked in the moonlight, wearing goats' horns. Really--it's true. I've seen it myself.

http://newsweek.washingtonpost.com/onfaith/starhawk/2008/08/how_i_would_advise_the_candida.html

HP Lovecraft's brief tenure at Whitman's Samplers

2008-08-18T13:18:33Z

"Dark! All-encompassing, eternal darkness! Human eyes cannot penetrate the stygian blackness of this unholy confection!"

http://www.mcsweeneys.net/2008/8/15burns.html

Can't walk but

2008-08-15T18:28:16Z

http://www.weather.com/newscenter/hurricanecentral/2008/iselle.html

Another close call

2008-07-15T01:57:56Z

Personal rejection from Sheila Williams at Asimov's, with invitation to submit again. Nice and affirming and all, but I wish I could close the deal already.

FYI

2008-05-23T14:08:12Z

Complete "Firefly" 50% off at Amazon.

Review

2008-04-30T17:04:23Z

My first review!

http://thefix-online.com/reviews/asim-33/

Also, I've started an "Alex Cohen"-specific blog over at http://arachnion.net. If you want to keep up with my public writer's life, check that out. I'll still post major news here, but other writer's-life stuff over there.

Boasting

2008-04-22T03:27:12Z

Got my ARC of Cory Doctorow's new book, Little Brother. Very reminiscent of Vinge's Rainbow's End so far. Fun.